Finding Faith in the Frustration: Balancing Work, Family, and Trusting God's Plan
To begin with, this is not an Oh, God has answered all my prayers type of story or God performed a miracle.
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Also, being a millennial and having social media, I ask myself, "How come it seems like all these other people are living their best lives and have everything together: the perfect job, a clean house, perfect relationships?" As I’m getting older and growing, I have come to realize my focus doesn’t need to be on others. 1. It doesn’t help with mental health, and 2. My focus and energy need to be on more important things, such as my family and Christ.
With that being said, it’s been a minute since I’ve been able to drive to work in silence and really listen to my Bible stories. After I got my essentials: my Dunkin coffee and Dr. Pepper, I was talking to God and listening to the story of Christ's crucifixion.
I’ve been down for the past couple of days because for the past two, probably going on two and a half years, I’ve been trying to find a work-from-home hybrid position where I can do something within marketing or something close to that department. additionally, either making the same amount of money or taking a little pay cut. I’ve applied to hundreds of positions, and I never hear anything. I don’t even get a call or email back saying "thanks but no thanks". I even considered sales positions, which I had sworn off a long time ago when I initially graduated from college, and of course I never heard anything back. I try to tell myself that when God wants that door open, he will open it, and I applied to a job where I really thought I had a good chance of at least getting a response. I can't help feeling like I have done everything needed to at least hear back from this company. I rewrote my resume. I called to follow up, and the call center lady provided an email to human resources. I did some digging and emailed the human resources line that was provided, plus multiple other people within the company that work either within that department or close to it, and even sent a thank-you letter in the mail. Nothing. I haven't even received an email saying I wasn’t getting an interview. I have been asking and praying so hard: What am I doing wrong? I understand that I don't have close experience within the scope of the position I applied for, but I do everything in my power to at least get some type of communication back from ALL these companies I have applied for.
I can't help but ask God again, "Why do you have me in this season? to top it all off, as some people say, or the cherry on top of all of this. I had even opened myself up and applied for a promotional position within my department. And not to get too far within my job duties and the department I work for. This position would have been a little better, and I possibly could have worked my way up to something more on the somewhat corporate level or management side of things instead of the day-to-day grind of the department. Well, I have realized that I am not going to get the position I had applied for. I was informed this is due to not applying for additional classes but considering that I work very hard with my daily tasks and help around the office, I keep my work organized and in compliance with the department's requirements.
With this balancing act and frustrations, I went to my parents, not really seeking advice but just to vent and get things off my chest. Yet both of them say to focus on what you have now, and God will open those doors when the time is right. Yes, I know our flesh wants what it wants now. And God knows what is best for us and why I am still on this path.
Romans 7:14–25 CSB Jeremiah 29:11 CSB
Like I said at the beginning, this is not a story of "God answering all my prayers and performing a miracle." I cannot help but be frustrated about all of this. I don’t know where to go from here. I feel like I spin my wheels every day, and nothing comes of it. At this moment, I will continue to trust in the Lord and pray that he will guide me in the best direction within his will.
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