Mom Guilt and the Balancing Act: Navigating Motherhood with Love and Ambition

 

I was under the impression I was a bad mom for not being able to stay home.  
I'm a bad mom for still trying to figure things out. 

My coworkers would just tell me to shut up and stop being silly. 

As my first little girl gets older and starts talking more, I realize that I’m one of her favorite people in the world. I cherish those moments where she just runs up to me for no reason at all and hugs my leg and says, "Momma, I just love you," then runs off as quickly as she can to continue playing. Or during bedtime when I lay her down in bed and we play with the blanket, playing hide and seek with her little giggles. Then I give her a kiss and tell her goodnight and that I love her, and she replies, Momma, I love you. 

As my due date for my second baby girl creeps closer, I can’t help but feel that same feeling creeping back into my head and heart again. I can’t help but wonder every other moment why God hasn’t given me that opportunity. I just want to either have a job or career where I can stay at home with my babies or just stay at home completely. I continue to pray that the Lord will show me the way as I work on a couple of projects and stay consistent with my schedule and prayers. Life can just be so chaotic sometimes with kids while you're juggling so many other things. I’m always afraid that my babies will suffer because I spend so much time researching, scheduling, and triple-checking that everything is in order.

 

I’m slowly learning that mom guilt is normal, whether you're a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. Mom guilt comes in all shapes and sizes. Going out to spend time with friends or buying a tee shirt you’ve been wanting for so long to treat yourself, then feeling complete anguish over it. You could’ve gotten that toy you saw for your baby. Although you can remember the last time you had bought yourself something nice, that is mom guilt. Going to the gym or to the salon to spend some time to yourself but feeling sad because you didn’t take your baby on that evening walk can be mom guilt. I’m learning that you can’t give to others if you're running on empty. You need to give to yourself so you can treat others as well.

Being a mom and working full-time can be a challenging balancing act. With both roles demanding your attention and energy, it can be hard to find a way to make it all work. However, with some thoughtful planning and organization, it is possible to be a successful working mom. Here are some tips for finding balance between your family and your career.

1. Prioritize Your Time As a working mom, you only have so many hours in the day, and it is important to make the most of them. Prioritize your time by focusing on the things that are most important to you. This could mean setting aside time for your family in the evenings or on weekends, or prioritizing certain tasks at work to ensure that you are meeting your goals.

2. Build a Support System Having a support system can be a game changer for working moms. Whether it is your partner, family members, or friends, having people you can rely on to help with childcare or household chores can make a huge difference. Consider joining a mom's group or finding other working moms in your community who can offer support and advice.

3. Set Realistic Expectations It can be easy to put pressure on yourself to excel in both your career and your role as a mom, but it is important to set realistic expectations. Remember that it is okay to ask for help, and it is okay to prioritize your family when necessary. Set goals that are achievable and be kind to yourself when things don't go as planned.

4. Make Time for Self-Care Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your family and your career. Make time for self-care activities that help you recharge, whether it is reading a book, taking a bubble bath, or going for a walk. Remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish, it is necessary.

5. Stay Organized Staying organized can help you manage your time more effectively and reduce stress. Consider using a planner or a calendar to keep track of your schedule, and make to-do lists to help you stay on top of tasks both at work and at home. Find a system that works for you and stick to it.

In conclusion, being a mom and working full-time can be challenging, but it is possible to find balance. Prioritize your time, build a support system, set realistic expectations, make time for self-care, and stay organized. Remember that you are not alone and that many working moms have found a way to make it work. 

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